Dear Sophie,

You may just be the most hilarious person I've ever met in my life. Today I took you to the AZ state fair for the first time. We had such a great time together. I actually think you're more enjoyable to be around - at two - then most adults are. You walked the whole fair, never complained and had a so much fun. Certainly if your daddy had been there, he would have complained about how much we walked, how much everything cost and what else we could be doing instead!

There was a baby there, playing on the jungle gym with you. You put him in a headlock and gave him a great big hug. And then you got very perplexed when he started to cry. Somehow, the bear hugs we've taught you to give mommy and daddy don't translate very well to kids smaller than you. You've spent a lot of this last year hearing me say "love from a distance!" But you are such a good little mommy. When you drop your baby dolls, you pick them up and say "I sorry baby. You ok baby?" You want so desperately to have a little baby of your own to love - though you are not happy in the least if mommy holds a real baby!!

When we were walking around, you found a piece of popcorn on the ground and bent down to pick it up, saying "mommy, I hungry!" Luckily, I knocked it out of your hands before you got it in your mouth. So, we went and got corn on the cob instead (cuz I still won't let you eat popcorn and you'll probably be 37 before I ever let you!). You were the cutest thing, just sitting there, eating your corn. Until a couple kernels fell on the ground. You bent down, picked them up and ate them, all before I could say a word. After I was done throwing up in the nearest trash can (ok, not really...but honestly Soph - where did this eating food off the ground thing come from??) we went and sat down at a table where you ate the rest of your corn and part of mine. If only I could get you to eat broccoli like that. (Or Barackoli, as your daddy calls it. Yeah, he's weird. But he's allll yours!)

Anyway - all that history to get to our life lesson for tonight. When we first walked into the fair, there was a cute little group of ponies that you could ride on. You weren't even the least bit interested until I asked you if you wanted to ride them. I thought it would be so cute to get a picture of you on the pony and watch your expression as you rode them. But, after I paid my $6 for you to ride the little thing, I started to get sad. The little ponies just walked around and around in a circle, with a metal bar pushing them in the backside to make them walk, stepping in their own poo poo. In all my excitement to create another memory for you (documented in pictures on my blackberry, of course) I lost sight of the fact that I would NEVER support that type of business if I had been thinking clearly!! So, here's hoping you learn this a lot sooner in life then your mama did...even though it may seem like a fun experience, try to really think about what you'll accomplish before you jump right in. (Especially if you ever think about drinking, smoking, trying drugs, sneaking out of the house or fighting with your mother).

Otherwise, you might just end up walking around in circle, ankle deep in poo.

Remember...no one loves you more than me!
XOXO, Mommy

Dear Sophie.

Today at church, Pastor Greg was talking about the scandalous love that God has for all of us.  I am so grateful for you, because being your mom helps me to understand God better and why He loves us the way He does.  I get it, because it's the same way I love you! ;-)

Anyway...when you and I got home, we were walking in the house and you said, "Mommy - where's Jesus?"  And I told you, "He's in our hearts".  To which you replied with a follow-up question of "in our heart boxes, mommy?"

It's moments like this when I can't figure out if I should laugh, cry or think you're the smartest kid on the planet.  Your favorite show - Ni hao, Kai-lan - strikes again.  On one of the episodes, Kai-Lan goes to China. It's a very big deal for her, and she takes her most prized possessions with her inside of her very special heart box.  She shows the people she loves what she has inside her heart(box) and it's super sweet.  I can't begin to understand how you could possible equate the two concepts (Jesus in our hearts vs special treasures in our heart boxes) but I am so proud and in awe of you.  

I couldn't even correct you, because technically I think Jesus would be in our heart boxes, if we had them.  I know this, my sweet Sophie...you are definitely in MY heart, box or not. 

Love, 

your mommy

I haven't blogged for so long - which is really the recurrent theme of this blog, I suppose.  But for reasons I can no longer ignore, I must blog again.  This time, however, it's for one solitary purpose...

My sweet baby girl is shockingly, speedily, unabashedly growing up before my eyes.  I haven't blogged about her for so long because (I justified, to myself) I was busy being consumed in the day to day of her being.  I couldn't spare a moment to write about her, because I was so busy being with her.  I try to randomly post on facebook the exciting moments of the day, and capture her sweet moments in pictures shot on my blackberry.  But, it's getting harder and harder to remember all the funny, sweet, wonderful moments with my baby girl - who's not so much of a baby anymore - and I need to start writing them down. 

For example, I just had to leave this blog and my train of thought to run into the other room when I heard across the monitor "Mommy!!! I need help with my diaper!!!" Upon entering the room, I found Sophie quite distressed, with a diaper in her hand and no diaper on her naked body.  "Sophie," I said, "did you take your diaper off?" Her reply? "No mommy. Diaper came off. Sophie no take diaper off!"  Relieved that there was no poo in the diaper, I put it back on and happily obliged when she asked, "Mommy, rock you again please?"  Who could resist that? So I did, and she protested being tired but quickly fell asleep in my arms.  Ahhh...there is TRULY nothing better in the world.  

I digress. Back to the future of the blog.  In an attempt to slow down time and capture the sweet and wonderful moments of childhood, I'm changing the format of these updates.  They'll now be letters to my darling Sophia - similar to the private journal and letters I've been writing to her since before she was born.  But, I promise to put the sweet and funny ones out here, for all of you following along in this world wide web of ours.  Feel free to check in, have a laugh and share in our tender moments.  Just know that I've found a new audience I'm desperate to write for - my two year old daughter. 

:)

To the creaters of the game, Elefun (aka Hasbro),

I purchased your game for my nearly two year old daughter this weekend, on the advice of a friend of mine. And, I have a few words for you...

1. Your game is not "a trunk full of fun", as you advertise. In fact, it's not even close. You see, "full" indicates to me that there's a lot of something. Your game gives me 24 "butterflies" that shoot out of the 4 foot trunk in about 4 seconds. Then it takes 5 minutes to relocate said butterflies, shove them back in the trunk and play for another four seconds. I think this might qualify as cruel and unusual punishment, not fun. In fact, my child has more fun watching pee-pee flush down the toilet, standing guard, ceremoniously waving bye-bye as she chants "bye-bye pee-pee, bye-bye pee-pee" AND it lasts longer than your game!

2. Your "butterflies" - if you can call a little tiny piece of fabric (is it fabric? is it paper?) stapled in the middle a butterfly - need some improvement. Can you please maybe weight some of them differently so they don't ALL fly out of the trunk at the exact same time? This might result in the game lastly slightly longer and giving me an actual shot at catching some of the darn things in the fish nets provided.

3. Your game says you don't need to read anything, in order to play. But, I had to read that to figure it out, didn't I? Maybe you should change that to say "no instructions needed for play"? Though a few instructions for how to make the game last longer would be nice!

4. Are you parents? Do you play these games at home with your own children before you put them on the market? Can you tell me how to make my game go in slow motion like it does on tv?

5. What is it about this silly game that makes my daughter say "watch mommy" everytime the butterflies come shooting out? Yeah kid...I know they're coming. And in a couple seconds, you can watch me pick them all up. And shove them back into the trunk. Over and over and over again. "watch Sophie...watch mommy lose her mind!"

I can't wait to see what games you'll come up with next!

I am as white as white comes.  I don't mean that as in the color of my skin...though it certainly applies.  But culturally, I am as vanilla as you can get. 

My family has lived in America for generations.  And, when you trace back our lineage, you'll find we originated from...England.  So, boring, white and protestant.  It's been bred in me for centuries. 

I've always longed for something more.  When a good friend of mine married into a Lebanese family, I thought...why can't that be me??  The singing, the dancing, the food...I love it all!

And then there's the Jewish friends the Hills know and love.  I'm convinced it's rubbed off on me.  The history, the rituals, the love...the eight days of presents!  And, who am I kidding?  The guilt??  Come on...I think Judaism runs in my veins.  With all the Mozel Tov's  we heard after Sophia was born, I started thinking maybe I am Jewish!  (Read my back history of posts to find out why I was convinced I was Jewish when I was growing up!)

My neighbors are Filipino.  We went to their wedding in San Diego, which was incredible. Add in to the mix that they're Catholic, and you have a recipe for the most beautiful celebration for 600 of your closest family and 6 white friends that you've ever seen. I desperately wished I was Filipino after that!  In fact, anytime the mother-in-law comes over to their home, I make sure I get invited for dinner.  Have you ever been in a home where there were so many family members under one roof, that the walls vibrated with their energy?  And none of them were fighting!!  That's what it's like every time I go into their home.  It's amazing.  And it's NEVER happened in my family.  About the only time the walls have ever vibrated with super-charged energy in my family's home is when I told my grandfather to keep his opinions of my personal life to himself.  Only, I used some rather choice language...in front of my entire family.  I was very young and it was definitely NOT one of my finer moments.  :(  I've never seen so many eyeballs pop outta heads and fall on the floor at one time. 

But last night, I realized my true cultural heart's desire.  I wanna be a latina!  We took Sophia to her first Quinceanera last night.  And it was our first one too.  I really had no idea what to expect.  First of all, our friend's daughter was wearing a dress that may have actually been nicer than my own wedding dress.  Second, the entire place was decorated like we were at a wedding. But, that's where the similarities ended.  Because, at a wedding, you've got to share the stage with your beloved.  And at a Quinceanera, it's ALL about the girl.  The entire evening was filled with dinner, dancing and tributes...all in honor of the most beautiful girl in the room that night. Then, when it seemed like it couldn't get any better, our friends gave their daughter a beautiful pair of new shoes, a larger crown than the one she was already wearing and a gorgeous necklace.  When I turned 15, I think I got some clothes from Mervyn's.  

I definitely drew the short straw when God was handing out heritage!

So, the next time you have to go to one of your family gatherings, steeped in tradition, don't grumble about it.  Think about how lucky you are to have it!  And, if you really don't want to go...invite me instead.  I'd LOVE to go!  :)

Rookie Initiation???

I try to keep my stories on this blog somewhat light-hearted. But, there are some situations that cross my path, where I have to make a choice. Either I can curl up in the fetal position and cry, or I can laugh hysterically. Since God blessed me with an abundant supply of humor, even if it is sometimes sick, sadistic or morbid, I choose to laugh. Because it's the only thing that keeps me moving forward in life!

My husband called tonite, to tell me he wouldn't be calling me on his lunch break. Instead, he had to take "a call". He then preceded to explain the call he would be "taking" wasn't actually a call, but rather a high risk traffic stop.

What makes a traffic stop high risk, you might ask? Well, a number of things. Stolen cars, known offenders, kidnapping, etc. What type of high risk traffic stop will my husband be making?

Oh...nothing too serious. Just the kind you have to make when you've been following people who are transporting MURDER SUSPECTS. Lovely...

As I felt my body enter a state of hyperventilation, my sensible husband told me not to worry. He's just pulling over the transporters...not the actual MURDERER.

Oh. Well....I see. That makes it so much better! I'm glad you cleared it up for me, because I'm sure they're stand-up citizens who pay taxes, go to church and help old ladies cross the road. What am I worried about?? I'm sure they NEVER use guns when transporting CRIMINALS who "allegedly" kill other people!!!

Calm as a cucumber, my husband continued to chat briefly with me, as I could hear his radio going off in the background, the dispatcher giving his location and providing a blow by blow of what they were expecting to go down. And they wanted Andy to take the call, since he's been working on his own and will be fully released to his new team next week. So...they gotta see what he's made of, I guess.

"Well...I better go now. I kind of need to listen, cuz it's gonna be my turn in a minute."

Your turn??? Are you using the slide at a playground?? Red rover, red rover...send someone ELSE right over!!

That's when my funny bone got an itch. It is kinda humorous to think about what's in a day's work for most people. And how even scary jobs can get monotonous. I certainly will not win the "most exciting" "most random" or "most absurd" day at work awards in the hill house any longer!

So, I hope you enjoyed that and got a snicker or two. All laughing aside, I'm gonna go say a prayer or two, just in case those "transporters" don't turn out to be the friendly kind.

So, kiss your loved ones and be thankful when they come home every night. And don't forget to laugh at the ridiculous things you come across in life. It could always be worse!